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the dark side
the hidden woes of a true image
Whatever you say may not matter. Because in my world, I want to be listened to.

layout credits to DODOKI
If you could find out what happens after you die, would you want to know?

Yes, I would. I'd love to see them go on, and live their lives without me. And if I could, I would stay and watch over the people I love, and tell them things I never got to say.
20th-Jun-2011 04:32 pm - X
Time passed by like a storm.
Days seem like seconds when I look back.

I wonder how much time I wasted.
I wish they weren't for nothing.

Memories are tricky things, especially if you're like me.
Don't get me wrong, I don't have some sort of mental disease.
I don't remember much. I envy those who do... sometimes.
I guess it's something my mind does now out of habit.
I leave marks everywhere yet I fail to remember.
Would having a mental disease be better?

The next few lines are from God knows when.
I wonder what I was talking about then.
From here on, I will leave it to the heavens.
I'm tired of you. I will do all that I can. I will protect you.
But I'm ready to accept doom.
I will try my best to avoid such a thing, but I cannot promise.
Because promises are made to be broken.
And so am I.
Doom? Broken? So Am I?
What the hell?
If I keep this up, I will soon be lost.
Drowned in memories unknown.
X marks the spot.
Now, where do I go?
28th-Aug-2010 12:42 am - TOO
Trains come to pass
Nothing lasts
Look on, look on
The smiles they don
They will come to pass
But you will last
Look on, look on

cannot go by the letter~
prozac can make it better.


Dahil bawal ang emo sa mundo.
17th-Jul-2010 08:55 am - hell has brought me here.
After long months of waiting HELL comes 38 seconds of HEAVEN.

I tweeted more than 50 times yesterday. Yet still, I feel it isn't enough.
I still have SHINee infused fever. And showering didn't do any good for me last night.
All this caused by a 38-second video.

NOW TELL ME IF YOUR HEART DIDN'T STOP, YOUR LUNGS FUNCTIONED NORMALLY, OR IF YOUR EYES DIDN'T WIDEN AFTER THIS. (and you are a girl) You need some sort of medication. You are not normal. LOL

Amidst the false alarm, Minho's injury, and everything else that had put this most awaited comeback on hold, SHINee World had not faltered. Within less than half an hour of its release, "SHINEE TEASER" had topped everything else in Twitter World's Trending Topics (yes it is caps locked, BTW? Notice the degree of excitement??) SHINee invades the world ♥

But okay, to be honest, seeing the teaser of the album cover had made me cringe.
It is pretty disturbing seeing this as I am a Christian and they, too, are Christians~ AAAH~ Devil or Evil might have been a better, more common term. Lucifer is just... Lucifer. Calling the devil by his first name... it just sounds so wrong.
It disturbed me for quite some time... and it still does now, but only because I'm worried about what my mom would say if she sees their album in my room SHINEE LUCIFER. OH MY GOD. She might throw it out for the cats to eat. :((

I did a bit of brainstorming with regard to their album title, given some details I got from twitter, the teensy bit of image concept I saw through the MV teaser and the pic teasers and I concluded: good to bad. Maybe the concept of the song and/or the album is good things that brought out the bad in them. Maybe greed or over-possessiveness over... maybe love? IDK. Most songs are about 'love' anyway....

I've opened my mind for the artistic interpretation for this. Yet still.. MY MOM. What do I do with her :((


OMG TAEMIN YOU HAVE GROWN SO WELL YOU PRETTY PRETTY BOY!! Second MV where I like you best. Long hair suits you like no other. Even the headband~ maaan. HAHA You make me insecure. HAHAHA :P
KEY, your hair is IDK. but yea, my heart is still yours.
MINO~ your hair. IDK. but for me, it doesnt look bad on you....
ONEW OMG. HOTNESS. Though many have disliked it, your center-parted hair is okay for moi.

13th-May-2010 02:20 pm - what now?
I have been stuck here for far too long.
I really have to move on.

There is no point in staying,
when you are definitely not growing.

Move on.
Not everyone bites,
Not every road is a trap,
Not every path leads to danger.

All will fall into place,
All will lead you to your end.

Fear is how you fall,
Confusing what is real.


Too many choices
Too many voices

You are the master of your fate,
The captain of your soul

Among the many voices
Among the many choices

There's you
And your will

Be stong and choose.
And take the fall.

In the end, you'll see the worth of it all.


Sometimes, I think I'm too emo for my own good.


Turn your wounds into wisdom.
- Rev Run
13th-May-2010 11:06 am - awakening

How many days, weeks, months, years had passed?

I bet I look different to you now.

I bet I feel different to you too.

I'm not sure whether I should.

I'm late anyway.

But it won't hurt, right?

Better late than never, they say.

I'd rather try and fail than fail to try.


Aren't you glad I'm back? LOL

I'm thinking... this is a better blog environment...




I'm late again, as always.

What am I going to do with you, Veronica? *shakes head*



27th-Jul-2009 01:28 am - Paper Cut
Define fair.
Define it for me 'cause my mind can't grasp an appropriate meaning.

Wait... I think I just got it.

Many people say life isn't fair.
Well, I beg to disagree.

Of all things, I think life is most fair.

God is its author, and no one could ever do a better job.

What comes around goes around.
Equivalent exchange.
Now that’s what I’m talking about.

See, life is fair.
But we fail to appreciate justice. Especially when it’s against us.
That’s human nature. Don’t blame yourself for it, it’s normal.

If luck brings you happiness, then what happens if you run out of it?

What is luck?
I’ll tell you: it’s a man-made superstition, aiming to make people believe that good or bad things may come out of nowhere.

That is a fair definition, don’t you think?
Man-made. Anything made by man isn’t flaw-proof. In fact, it ends up flaw-FULL.

So who are you to side with, man or God?
What would you choose, luck or fairness?

I say fairness.
Would you still choose it though it will break you?

I say yes.

Though paper may cut me, it will heal.

What goes around comes around.
Equivalent exchange.
Now, you know what I’m talking about.


Long time no post? :D

14th-Mar-2009 04:15 pm - stressed and sabaw
i am.
i need inspiration... Vee? hahaha joke :P

ay nako kinikilig nnman ako. ano baaaaa. ahahahha :P
kelan bako magsasawa sayo? hahahah :P


14th-Mar-2009 03:11 pm - super wala lang
030909, 19.10

What's in a name?
Names have hidden meanings, this quiz said..
I tried it out, just for the heck of it, March 9, 2009.

Veronica Paula Mata Jose.

-or so I seem.

You are very hyper. You never slow down, even when it's killing you.
You're the type of person who can be a workaholic during the day... and still have the energy to party all night.
-VERY FALSE. I am only hyper for some hyper-able reasons.
Your energy is definitely a magnet for those around you. People are addicted to your vibe.
-.....really now?

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
-not everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.
-okay, true.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.
You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.
You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.
-uh.. tlga??

You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.
-oops! NO!
You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.
-I AM loyal.
At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
-I dont like to assume so.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.
You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.
A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.
-kinda true... KINDA.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.
-okay, I do strive for perfection, but I am NOT the best at everything, I am not perfect. I am confident, not authoritative but sometimes agressive.

You are influential and persuasive. You tend to have a lot of power over people.
Generally, you use your powers for good. You excel at solving other people's problems.
Occasionally, you do get a little selfish and persuade people to do things that are only in your interest.
-really now? Am I? Do I?

You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way.
And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life.
-hahahaha. bolero. hahaha if I were lucky, I should be happy now.
You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it.
-I AM greedy. I want me happy, but I want other people happy too.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.
-now that's what I'm talking about. haha :P
You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.
-accepting, I am, but I DO get worked up easily.
Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated.
-okay, true.
You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want.
You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way!
-half true, half false.

You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life.
You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home.
You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble.

You are fair, honest, and logical. You are a natural leader, and people respect you.
You never give up, and you will succeed... even if it takes you a hundred tries.
You are rational enough to see every part of a problem. You are great at giving other people advice.

You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.
-WTF? sexy plang wla na eh. But I believe I am strong.
You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.
You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.
-yeah right.

Sometimes they're right, sometimes they're wrong.

People say a lot of things.
We should choose wisely, be picky on what to believe. Not everything good people say about you is a general truth, a law. Some of them may be theories or postulates than can be true if and only if <insert condition/s here>.

Let me tell you what this quiz lacked to say about me:

You get moody in seconds.
You change your mind a lot, which confuses people around you sometimes.

You are lost.
You are unsure of what to do, of which path to follow. You don't know what it is you really want.

You are sensitive, too sensitive for your own good.
You think of other people's sake more than your own, in the long run, you'll see yourself struggle. Not only that, sometimes, the things you do to help people end up worsening their situation and/or attitude.
You take care of people with unconditional love, and fail to see you need taking care of as well, you tell yourself you dont, but you really do.

You are an excellent procrastinator, which can be a good or bad thing.
People sometimes rely on this skill of yours, so much so that you end up working on most of whatever they are you should work on.
This doesn't help your lack of skill in time management. You really should work on that.

You are very lazy.
Get off of your bed and on to the study table. You'll need to maximize all the time you have left.

You are a thinker. You think too much and you assume too much.
Maybe you should stop thinking, so you'd stop assuming. Too harsh? Maybe you need a little harsh treatment, it's called discipline, my friend.

You are good and you are bad.
Be sure to have your meter on 24/7, so you can keep track of what you are, good or bad, moment by moment.
Balance is the key.

So, what can you say about yourself?

Quiz from <http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyournameshiddenmeaningquiz/>

14th-Mar-2009 09:44 am - procrastinator
okay im great.

this is not helping, and i know it.
but what do i do if it's not my fault?

im good,
but not at everything.

dont expect the best from me.
i am not perfect.

only God can give it,
and i cannot take it back.
not a single soul in the world could provide me with it.

i only have one body,
one brain.
i can only do so much.

im trying my best,
help, anyone?

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